On Becoming A ............

ON BECOMING A ………

Jakarta, 10 January 2012

To be or not to be, that’s the question. 

This most famous quotation from Shakespeare in Hamlet is exactly like what I have to face now. It is about whether I’m going to move on or stick on what I am now. There are certain positive and negative points in each. And it’s like doing a business mapping for me. Once I draw the line in a wrong way, then I make the whole picture wrong.

I was doing great things in my previous position so that I can maximize my potential. With all of those great things I’ve done I was very certain that I would pass the assessment test for promotion even if I wasn’t prepared at all. Besides, the chance to be promoted was much bigger as I was two levels below my direct supervisor. On the contrary to my current condition that the chance was much smaller as my boss is only one level above me and I have to start it all over again, back to zero in here. Even if I have well-prepared, I might not pass the assessment test done to me.

So it is now the time for the huge question. Moving on or sticking on it.

Moving on means going out and move to another atmosphere with several possibilities that I have to predict to anticipate every circumstance incurs. Sticking on it means accepting what is pushed to me to take and I hate this kind of condition.

Moving on is another adaptation phase that I have to face. It means new environment with all brand new tasks and fresh faces to deal with. I know I was good in adaptation, staying quiet for a while to learn my circumstances then get into it, that’s my secret recipe. However, I may also fail in this process, though never before, but I have to consider every possibility that may incur. I may also have new friends, new network, learning new skill and competence, and new income either higher or lower. It may be a very challenging and competitive hemisphere for me.

While sticking on it is like becoming a fatalist for me. I hate to accept what was pushed to me. I hate to be a loser. I never want to be a champion, I just want to fight for my better life and provide a better condition for others after I fought. That’s how I live my life so far and God’s with me. However, it may be the safest condition for me. I got enough money here, good coverage too, people say what else do I need financially instead of gambling with my unknown future out there

So…to be or not to be, that’s the question.

Moving on means going out of my comfort zone. And sticking on means staying financially safe. The first one is like becoming a gambler while the second one is like becoming what most people are. So, am I a gambler? Nope! But I’m not a fatalist either. If becoming an idealist is this expensive, then I’ll take it. You cannot get a shark with a worm; you need salmon to get a shark.

To be or not to be, so..let’s be it!